(Alternative title: Bad life decision #27…)

Abu Simbel.   One of the most stunning temples built by Ramses II (and that dude built basically everything in Egypt, seriously…) and really, really far away.   We sailed down the Nile River for 3 days and still, it was really, really far away.   But it was supposed to be stunning.   We debated on and off for months if we should add it to our trip.  We decided early on to cut the option to fly there since it was an extra grand for an hour’s visit, but apparently the option to drive was still on the table…so at 6pm on Wednesday we asked our guide to please swap the plans for the next 2 days and arrange for us to drive to Abu Simbel at 11am on Thursday morning…on a convoy to Sudan.

Remember when I said I’m not good with maps?  I wasn’t kidding.   And it wasn’t until my husband zoomed way in on the location of Abu Simbel that I decided to question what country was on the border just 15 or so miles from where we were headed the next day.  Sudan.  Yup.  So when our guide told us that they had to petition the government to have our names and passport numbers approved to join the convoy driving from Aswan to Abu Simbel, it probably should have been my red flag that we were about to embark on a 6 hour round trip ride through the barren desert towards the civil war torn nation of Sudan, armed with only our cameras and a lunchbox. [Ed. note: I thought this was an excellent life choice]

So those were my first impressions before we ever started the day.   When it was time to actually leave the boat, it was time for reality…our car pulled up and instead of being the SUV we had become used to on the excursions, this was a minibus.  I couldn’t figure out why a minibus was necessary for the two of us, a guide, and our driver with no luggage…and then we started collecting our entourage.  We got a second driver to handle the route home because apparently 300 km into the barren desert is challenging on the eyes and they need a rested person to bring you back.   But that wasn’t all, as we were about to depart with our convoy (of 3 cars total…apparently this road trip to Sudan isn’t the most popular trip extra…) the passenger door opened and I caught a glimpse of a very large, very real machine gun coming to sit on the armrest…and it was followed by a military member in full uniform.  Not only is the convoy escorted by the officials, but some cars get the bonus of a ride along to keep things cozy.   So for those keeping count, we now had 4 large Egyptian men in the tour van and my husband and I sitting in the back, relieved the car had wifi so we could iMessage each other “WTF” and “did you see that gun??”…WiFi that lasted until we left cell reception of the city…

The trip was (thankfully) uneventful.   The large machine gun stayed hidden.  The back up driver slept.  The lunch boxes were delicious (although a bit overkill with 6 sandwiches for each of us…).  We even learned a fun little tidbit of trivia that turned us into vegetarians for the remainder of Egypt…  We were being passed by truckloads of camels.   Cute, bony creatures like what we rode on last month.   Our guide let us know that they were imported from Sudan.  Okay, so they are being trucked up to Cairo for rides around the Pyramids, got it.   Well, almost.   They were being trucked up to Cairo, yes. To the butchers.  Apparently, camel meat is very en vogue.

Abu Simbel was stunning.   It was simply massive and again, we were nearly the only people there so we were able to explore the temples privately and see every inch of it.  But when it was time to head back, I was very happy to put some more distance between myself and Sudan…and have the large machine gun riding home in a different car this time!