Today, we’re doing something a little different around here.   We went to the Opera in Vienna.   The show was La Cenerentola which is a version of Cinderella.  Yes, it was in Italian, but they had these handy little screens in front of each of us that translated the words into your chosen language…or not.   I followed along and enjoyed the mild changes to the classic fairy tale (step-father instead of step-mother, the fairy godmother was in fact the Prince’s advisor, and she had a missing bracelet of a matching set instead of a shoe)…  My husband shunned the screen and had his own interpretation of the show.   It was so much better than mine.   I made him type it up to share with everyone because I am now convinced the only way to see an opera is without the screen and I highly recommend you all do the same.

With that being said, I did confirm multiple times throughout the show he was aware this was Cinderella and that he knew the Cinderella story…he does.   So it looks like I’ll be on bedtime story duty for our future kids because this would cause some crazy nightmares…

[Ed. Note: This is 100% how I interpreted what was happening on stage as they sang and acted about. It made perfect sense with what I was watching. Written late-night after the opera so it was still fresh in my mind.]

It opened with a girl and her magic brush, which did double duty as a floor brush and a hair brush. It seemed like her sisters really wanted the brush too.  From there, a hobo wandered into her house. “Cinderella” gave him milk in his teacup (presumably for his tea, because my mother-in-law said always put milk in the cup before pouring tea). Anyways it seems the hobo didn’t know this rule, and started drinking the milk first, before any tea was served.

Then, the hobo left, and the dad showed up via a closet, but he was stuck to a wall in a sleeping bag. He got out, and made Cinderella fetch him slippers and a chair. He then sang about how he needed one of his two real daughters to get knocked up by the rich dude leading things around their parts. I’m pretty sure it was because he made some deal with the mob or something, whereas he gets rich as long as one of them gets knocked up. I distinctly remember him rubbing one of his daughter’s belly during this number, indicating the need to get pregnant.

They took off to go find a man (after the whole town helped look at clothes for them), and Cinderella was home alone. A thief dressed like a cop strolled in, and he basically tried to claim the house as his own and steal it. Hijinks ensued as he kept not seeing her, so he thought the house was haunted (remember this haunted/ghost theme). She saw him, he freaked, and decided he’d either have to kill her or something.  I think he might’ve thought about kidnapping her, but she pleaded and promised to dress up for him/etc…long story short, Stockholm Syndrome kicked in and they almost kissed.  Thief/kidnapper left disappointed (but in love?) and then whole town walked in her house again.

Seriously, she needs to work on home security. Next thing you know, you meet the rich dude who is supposed to knock up one of the sisters as a LOUNGE SINGER, and he gets hit on by the two girls as he does an entire lounge act, in Cinderella’s living room, with the whole town there. Eventually after that the hobo shows back up, and becomes like a magician hobo. He promises her some dresses (did she promise something in return?), and scene end.

Next scene, you’re in 1960’s Cuba, communist flags and all, in a…used car dealership? Metaphors abound. I’ll get to that. Anyways, you’ve got the “rich dude”, who owns the shop, his “assistant” (the thief from earlier), townsfolk, and the magician. This is where the language barrier finally broke down and I started figuring it out the real plot. The rich dude is a figurehead, has all the money and trappings of rich, but isn’t /really/ in charge. The magician is.  His assistant is his patsy, dude goes out and gets money/belongings for the rich dude. That’s why he was in Cinderella’s house earlier, trying to get more cash for his boss. Anyways, the magician runs the show, and obviously everyone has made side deals with him that each other don’t know about.

So, you’re in the dealership, the sisters are trying desperately to make their dad proud and get the man, but fail. They don’t know about his side deal. Dude wants none of that. Magician rolls in with ice cream, everyone is happy, Cinderella appears wearing sunglasses, boom, rich dude is all like “hot!”, and everyone gets into a tizzy.  Dad is there and is hammered drunk. He knows his deal is messed up. End first half.

Second half: He is telling his two children goodbye, they failed him, he’s out a lot of money and has to go run into hiding. Next scene, the assistant/thief shows up, and grumbles about his lot in life. He decides he’s gonna kill the rich dude and take the throne.  Next scene, dad comes upon the rich dude, and decides instead of running, rich dude can help him. Dad will kill the magician, who controls rich dude, and in return rich dude will knock up a daughter, so dad is out of the mob’s sights. Simple plan.  Rich dude sees Cinderella, who just wants to marry a nice rich man, that’s all, and he’s all like “she’s hot, OK”.

Here is where things finally get real. We’re back in the house, and all the players are there. Storm hits, lights go out, magician literally controls them all in the darkness with flashlights and lightning and it’s an allegory about the deals they’ve all made with the devil (the magician). People want to kill people now, hatching plans, selling souls, the whole bit. It’s like a ghost/haunted house thing going on. Flash! Next morning, they all realize they need to change their ways. They all resolve to fix things, and then we’re left with the two sisters and the devil. He tells them they haven’t taken a deal yet, they have done nothing wrong, just tried to do as their dad asked, and then he cackles and puts his feet up. I half expected him to have an apple for them. End scene.

Final scene, back at the communist car dealership. Cinderella is in a wedding dress, and the whole song and dance number. Cinderella basically tells her step dad she just wanted to be loved, and rich dude loves her. He’s not a murderer, so he’s super sad and has to go into hiding afterwards. The sisters are sad too because they failed their dad. Magician is scheming up on a balcony, laughing. Assistant is working the crowd, obviously deciding he needs to still take control (is that why the magician/devil was laughing at this scene?) and is probably inciting a mob when the rich dude gets back from his honeymoon. Wedding car takes off, and at the curtain close you see the assistant giving the magic brush from the opening scene to the sisters (obvious sequel setup).

The end.